The Life of the Rejected: Hawkstar
by Christmas Spirit of the Brook
Summary: Hawkkit was always the weakest one, the one despised for his small size, the one teased by every kit in the nursery. Hawkkit decides to take a turn for the wild side and desert ThunderClan for ShadowClan. He's welcomed there and treated just like everyone else. As he grows up, he gets the idea of revenge. Will Hawkstar achieve full dictatorship or will he die trying?
1. Allegiances

**A/N: Hello, Spirit of the Brook here with the next book of the Life of the Rejected Trilogy! Yes, the series is going to be a trilogy and if you don't know what a trilogy is…. I'm not even going to threaten you about anything. Well, I didn't receive quite as much a hallelujah as I would have expected on the last chapter of Life of the Rejected: Bramblepelt, but ya know. As one dude said, "Expect the unexpected." Who the heck said that quote, anyway? We'll never know…. But, anyways, here we go to our lovely Hawkkit! Reviews and constructive criticism are gladly accepted into my welcoming arms. But flames however are not! If you scrape my face off with your flames, I will have to get my unicorn to unleash its rainbow rage on you. And we don't want that, do we? Well, let's get on to the lovely allegiances! You have no idea how much you guys matter to me!**

**Allegiances**

**ThunderClan**

**Leader Breezestar- **small pale gray she-cat with darker gray paws and blue green eyes

**Deputy Talonwhisker- **muscular white tom with dark gray patches and golden eyes

**Medicine Cat Pinewish- **long-furred tabby she-cat with green eyes

**Apprentice, Ivypaw**

**Warriors**

**Hailfoot- **elderly dark gray tabby tom with dark blue eyes

**Snownose- **white she-cat with black paws and tail-tip

**Apprentice, Sunpaw**

**Specklefur- **light brown speckled tom with golden eyes

**Dewcloud- **gray-and-cream she-cat with blue eyes

**Apprentice, Brindlepaw**

**Nightspots- **black tom with light gray spots and amber eyes

**Apprentice, Mousepaw**

**Mintstorm- **light gray tabby tom with darker gray speckles on back and tail

**Mothshadow- **small brown-and-white tabby she-cat with amber eyes

**Apprentice, Foxpaw**

**Fernlight- **long-furred pale gray she-cat with golden eyes

**Ebonyclaw- **black tom with golden eyes

**Apprentice, Rainpaw**

**Kestrelgaze- **dark brown tabby tom with golden eyes

**Darkfang- **black tom with ice blue eyes

**Tallthorn- **young soot-gray tom with blue eyes

**Apprentices**

**Mousepaw- **light brown tabby she-cat with white paws and green eyes

**Ivypaw- **silver tabby she-cat with gray paws and ice blue eyes

**Rainpaw- **little light gray tabby she-cat with ice blue eyes, Ivypaw's sister

**Foxpaw- **ginger tom with white paws, legs, and tail-tip, amber eyes

**Brindlepaw- **golden tabby she-cat with a light brown underbelly and green eyes

**Queens**

**Sorrelpetal- **tortoiseshell queen with black belly and paws and golden eyes; mother to Kestrelgaze's kits, Runningkit (tabby tom-kit with amber eyes), Ripplekit (blue-gray tom-kit with blue eyes), Cloudkit (white she-kit with blue eyes), and Hawkkit (very small light brown tabby tom-kit with amber eyes)

**Hollyblaze- **dark gray she-cat with deep orange eyes; mother to Nightspots' kits, Moonkit (light gray she-kit with pale blue eyes) and Featherkit (dark gray she-kit with deep orange eyes)

**Maplewhisker- **pale ginger tabby queen with amber eyes; mother to Darkfang's kits, Petalkit (cream she-kit with amber eyes), Thornkit (dark brown tom-kit with black stripes), Tigerkit (orange tabby tom-kit with amber eyes), and Icekit (pure white she-kit with bright emerald eyes)

**Elders**

**Haretail- **light brown tabby tom with scarred tail from battle

**Blossomstream- **once-beautiful tortoiseshell-and-white she-cat with patchy fur and green eyes

**Sandshade- **old raspy-throated sandy brown she-cat with dark blue eyes

**A/N: Yes, this was the allegiances that bring us all of our both minor and major characters, major characters including: Hawkkit and his siblings, Icekit and her siblings, Hawkkit's mother, Icekit's mother; minor characters including: Life and Death. No, seriously, I don't know what to say there. Well, anyways, happy birthday and have a wonderful day to all those random people who don't have birthdays today! It's your un-birthday, idiots; respect it! Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Oh, I forgot to add something: this story is set probably a few years before Bramblepelt was born. I think you can already guess that if you've read LRBP (Life of the Rejected: Bramblepelt). Well, time for a second goodbye! GOODBYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! **


	2. Introduction: Hello

Hello, young warrior. I am Hawkstar, ruler over ThunderClan, WindClan, ShadowClan, and RiverClan. Well, I used to be. Of course, I'm dead, you idiot! Would I be here if I wasn't? Huh, back in my day, young cats would know better than to ask such stupid questions.

But anyways, I see some of the others have sent you to me to gather some knowledge from the top thug of these woods. Sit down, make yourself comfortable on those bones. We've got a lot to go over. I suppose they asked me to review my life? Ah, typical. That would be quite interesting, though to see the terrified face of my listener as I explain the yowls of bloodlust and claws ripping through flesh….

Oh, I'm getting distracted in those lovely thoughts. Ah, back to the beginning. I started small- way too small for my parents' liking. Who were my parents? Hmm, let me see… No, I'm not too old to remember my kithood! Ah, now I remember. My mother was Sorrelpetal and my father was Kestrelgaze. My siblings were Ripplekit, Runningkit, and Cloudkit, the former I looked up to with all my little mind but later I came to despise.

Let's start the day I stumbled out of the nursery… Quite an interesting day indeed, where I met all my enemies and… really, there's nothing more. They asked me to describe the day in detail? Ugh, I suppose I expected that from those bratty youngsters. It was a warm leaf-fall afternoon that day and it started like this…


	3. Chapter 1

**A response to your reviews:**

**Foreststar of WindClan: Yes, somebody sees my true intentions! Hawkstar is indeed the grumpiest, oldest thug in the Dark Forest.**

**Sunripple (Guest): Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed the prologue.**

**Shiverdream of WindClan: Yes, now you get to see Hawkstar when he's a young non-grumpy individual**.

As I said before, it all started with me opening my eyes which later on I thought that it would've been better to curl up and never open my eyes like I was stillborn. But then who would be the ruler over all the Clans? Who would... Never mind, I'm getting carried away with my memory.

When I first opened my eyes, I noticed that every kit in the nursery was bigger than me. It was no secret that I had been smaller than my brothers when I was born and the medicine cat had been sure that I was born dead until my heart started beating. I was weak, too; Ripplekit and Runningkit would always shove me to the side when I wanted to nurse and when I tried to open my eyes in the past, I never could get past the part where my eyelids lifted up.

But this time, the struggle was not in vain. I opened my eyes and made myself stand up for my mother... Except she was asleep and it was so dark not even Moonkit, who happened to wander around at night in the nursery was awake.

I sighed softly and settled back down to fall asleep. It was sunhigh when I woke again and Runningkit and Ripplekit were scuffling in the worn sand next to our nest. I yawned and stretched my legs out. And then I was up, as if this was what I did every morning.

I padded right up to my brothers and squeaked, "Can I play with you?" They just stared at me for a moment then a wide grin grew on Runningkit's face. He bounced forward and exclaimed, "Of course, you can! Come on, let's go see Maplewhisker's kits!"

At that moment, I was accepted into Ripplekit and Runningkit's world, but in Maplewhisker's kits, I had no chance of being even slightly accepted. In fact, the first thing Icekit said to me was exactly this, "You brought him to play with us?" It was as if I was a disease that was unwanted and definitely unneeded.

The elegant white she-kit wrinkled up her nose and stared at me with distaste. So did her siblings. In fact, even kind Runningkit seemed to begin to have his doubts that it was a good idea to bring me with them. "Well, yeah," he muttered quietly, staring at his paws in guilt. "At least, we didn't bring Cloudkit with us this time!" Ripplekit piped up in my defense.

Now this was a new name who I came to realize was my sister. She was even smaller than me, but since the medicine cat assumed she wouldn't live longer than I would. Although being given this information, I thought they should give her a chance. I had survived.

Even though Icekit and her siblings eventually agreed to playing with my brothers and I, they kept on flashing me disgusted glares and looks of fury as if Ripplekit and Runningkit had forced them to agree. Even when they played, they avoided me and my brothers. This sent ice cold anger running through my veins. I couldn't take it anymore.

I jumped forward, arching my back and snarling, "If you're going to glare at something, do it to me, not my brothers! Just stop!" Icekit, looked at me in surprise, like she thought I was too small to have the guts to speak. "Well," she said icily. "I thought you'd never speak, you little runt." With that, I was so angry I leapt forward and scratched my tiny claws across her cheek.

Apparently, I underestimated my strength and left a bloody gash in Icekit's face. She let out a sharp hiss and began to blink her eyes rapidly, making them look wet with "tears". "Mama!" She began to wail. "Hawkkit hurt me!" Maplewhisker lifted up her pale ginger head and her eyes widened when she saw the wound on her daughter's cheek. She glared so hatefully at me that I shuddered.

I just ran back to Sorrelpetal's nest, burying my head in her belly. But I wasn't hoping for milk, just for comfort. The tortoiseshell queen began to gently lick my back with her rough tongue. She murmured, "Hush, little hawk. Hush." I was comforted by her words and pushed my head up under her chin. Her purrs lulled me to sleep, but not before wondering, Why do they all hate me?

**Hope you enjoyed! Spirit of the Brook, signing out. **


	4. Chapter 2

**Greetings, little penguins! Welcome back to LotR Hawkstar. I will respond to your reviews here!**

** Sunripple: XD you have no idea what Hawkkit plans to be... *laughs maliciously* More blood, my friend? *offers cup of blood* Enjoy the second chapter!**

I endured this for a few moons before I realized that the taunting would never stop, the jeers would never stop, the hatred would never stop. That was when I planned an escape. The first few nights, I was too frightened to leave the safety of ThunderClan's camp. But one leaf-bare night, I gathered up enough courage to venture out of the camp. I wasn't sure where I would go, but I knew I would go somewhere safe from the kits' jeers.

I kept awake long after Sorrelpetal and my brothers had fallen asleep and when I was sure every cat, even the guard was asleep. I softly stepped out of my nest and crept all the way to the nursery entrance. I froze when Tigerkit snorted and stretched out one paw over the edge of his nest. I continued walking silently across the moon washed clearing. There it was, the dirtplace tunnel, where I would escape. I slipped through the ferns and, weaving in and out of the pits where the cats made their dirt, I burst out into the woods.

My eyes stretched wide; the trees were much bigger than I had imagined and so was... Everything. Stumbling on through the trees and one time tripping over a branch and slamming my head on the wood, I tasted ThunderClan scent on everything until suddenly, I crossed the border and a new scent exploded around me. It wasn't very pleasant, but... I liked it. It had a woodsy smell that I hadn't smelled on ThunderClan territory. As I traveled along, oak switched to taller, darker trees with fewer branches and before I knew it, the new scent was all around me.

I burst out onto a well-worn path and began to follow it, alert but awed at the same time. Then, all at once, three cats swooped down from out of nowhere. They stood, flank to flank and glared at me with glowing eyes. "What are you doing on ShadowClan territory?" Their leader, an orange-and-white she-cat with golden eyes, not waiting for answer, began to inspect me . "You smell like ThunderClan, but you look to be only three moons old." She narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "What are you doing here?"

I began to speak, but a small long-furred pale grey warrior pushed her way forward. "Stop interrogating him, Leafpelt. He's only a kit." The bigger she-cat huffed. "You would say that, Softshine," she retorted. "Being no more than a kit yourself." The only other warrior, an ebony colored she-cat with warm dark brown eyes just watched me with nothing more than curiosity. "What should we do with him, Fernstar?" Softshine looked expectantly up into the she-cat's eyes. She just smiled and beckoned toward me. I stumbled forward and whispered, "Hello?" I was as tentative as a mouse then, afraid to anger this powerful leader. "Hello, little kit," Fernstar replied. "What might your name be?" I looked up fearfully, expecting to see disgust in such a small kit, but all I saw was kindness. I immediately liked her.

"Little Hawk," I mewed shyly, deciding to use the name that my mother called me. Fernstar smiled softly and held my chin up. "Well, little Hawk," she meowed gently. "Welcome to ShadowClan." She directed her gaze to Softshine and Leafpelt. "Get Hawk sheltered in the nursery and make sure he is put into welcoming paws. I have great plans for this kit." She grinned at me, causing warmth to spread from the tips of my paws to the tips of my ears.

Softshine picked me up by the scruff of my neck and carried me along the path, her rocking movement lulling me to sleep.

I woke up to bright sunshine and the warmth of somebody against me. For a moment, I thought I was back in the ThunderClan nursery but when I opened my eyes, there was no familiar tortoiseshell pelt of Sorrelpetal. Instead, there was a deep ashy grey short-furred body beside me. I jumped up immediately and began to look around frantically.

Then, memory crashed back to my mind and I relaxed. I was in the ShadowClan nursery with a queen who had agreed to take care of me. Three other kits that looked about my age were curled up beside me. A black she-kit stirred and her eyes opened. They were an ash grey almost like the she-cat's pelt.

"Who are you?" She began to sniff at me curiously. The grey she-cat stirred and rolled over on her side, revealing a smiling face with green eyes. "His name is Hawk," she meowed. "He's come to stay in our Clan for a while." She seemed to hesitate before saying, "for a while".

"Oh," the black kit squeaked, turning to examine me. "I'm Ebonykit and these are my lazy brothers, Foxkit and Sleetkit." She poked the two toms with a paw and yelled, "Wake up, you dormice! RiverClan is attacking!" Immediately, the disturbed kits hopped up, their eyes wide with surprise. "What? Who? Where?"

One was a ginger yellow tabby tom with green eyes like his mother's and the other was a grey dappled tom with green eyes. They both looked around wildly and noticed me standing there. The ginger tom slunk forward and glared at me through furious eyes. "So, you've come to attack my Clan, have you, RiverClan scum?" he hissed. He tensed his muscles. "I'll show you how powerful ShadowClan can be!" But before he could inflict any of his so-called power on me, Ebonykit planted a paw on his chest making him stop.

"Foxkit," she mewed as sternly as a kit could sound stern. "This isn't a warrior from RiverClan. This is Hawk, our visitor." Foxkit's expression was blank for a moment then realization washed over his face. "Oh," he said sheepishly, shrugging his shoulders. "I was just trying to defend my Clan." The mother laughed, her eyes sparkling with amusement. "Yes, I bet you were," she meowed happily, flicking her tail on her son's cheek lovingly. "How about you show Hawk around the camp?"

"Oh, yeah," Ebonykit said, suddenly excited. "We're about to become apprentices and we'll need you to know all about the camp so you know where to look for us!" I looked at them and realized that they were much bigger than me, so they would definitely be accepted to become apprentices. _Not me, though, _I thought bitterly. _I'm too small to be an apprentice. _

As if he was reading my mind, Sleetkit's eyes grew concerned. "Of course, you could become an apprentice with us, right, Ashfern?" he asked, looking up at his mother. She gave a sympathy-tinged smile at me that I knew meant she thought the odds were unlikely. "Of course," she said slowly, nodding. Then she mewed quickly, "Go along. It'll be moonhigh by the time you wondering kits will get to explore!" Ebonykit jumped up, excited. "Right!" she squealed. "Come on, let's go!"

The three kits and I jumped along. But I could see the tension in Ashfern's hindquarters. She was ready to turn around and gossip. A twinge of regret flickered in my heart. _Will I really be accepted here?_

"And I hereby accept young Hawk into ShadowClan," Fernstar's strong voice rang out across the clearing. "He will be taken into our care and named Hawkkit. I expect for all of you, even the youngest and most senior warriors to treat him just like you would treat a kit born into ShadowClan." I sighed in relief as her announcement was declared for all to hear. I beamed and looked up at Ashfern. But her expression was troubled, like she didn't believe I was being allowed to stay with her kits. My smile vanished.

I knew that not all cats were ready to celebrate my arrival because of my origins in ThunderClan, but I knew one thing about Ashfern; she didn't want me at all, no matter how soothing she had been to me.


	5. Chapter 3

**A/N: Welcome back, my glorious kitties! To the third chapter of LotRHS! YAYAYAYAYAYAY! **

**Sunripple: I knew it! That's why you acted so strange under the sun! Yes, every Clan does have its bad cats; some that you least expect them to be. MWUAHAHAHAHA! I'm glad that you enjoy ShadowClan, cuz you're gonna get a lot of it!**

**Please R&R, peeps!**

A moon had passed by since I had been accepted into ShadowClan. Ashfern generally regarded me with caution, as if she expected me to turn on them any instant, telling them that I'd been a spy for ThunderClan all along. Little did I or they know, I was going to turn on them eventually, but in a different way.

I was playing in the leaves with Ebonykit, Foxkit, and Sleetkit when a cold shadow loomed over my shoulder. It was Fernstar. Her eyes were stern, not as gentle as they had been when I had arrived. "Come with me, Hawkkit," she mewed briskly in a brutal tone that made me flinch.

I glanced back at the other kits and they nodded encouragingly, but I could see that their eyes were clouded with worry for me. I turned around and looked at Fernstar, but she was staring straight ahead, no emotion in her gaze.

We headed for her den and all of a sudden, a cold wave of fear swamped over me. I couldn't move; I just stood there, tail straight out, paw poised to make the next step. Fernstar noticed that I wasn't moving and for a moment, a flicker of the former warmth I had seen before came into her eyes.

She turned her head around and picked me up by the scruff of my neck, carrying me all the way to the den, where she slowly and carefully dropped me down onto the floor of the den. Then, her gentle streak vanished; she was back to her leader self again: strong, confident, stern, and ready to decide the fate of her Clan.

Several of ShadowClan's senior warriors sat in the shady cave, making the conditions feel so much more cold and damp for me. I had occasionally seen them before, gossiping by the freshkill pile. They had exchanged glances at me before, subtly nodding to me, sometimes so subtle I could barely see their movements. But I knew they disliked my presence or at least weren't comfortable with it.

"A new kit has come to our Clan, as most of you know," Fernstar announced, bringing the senior warriors to attention. "He called himself Hawk and we have renamed him Hawkkit. I think many of you have noticed that he is…..smaller than a normal kit would be at his age of almost six moons. My question is should we accept our young Hawkkit to be an apprentice?" Immediately, the senior warriors began mumbling among themselves and I could feel their eyes flicking towards me.

I shifted nervously and in the few minutes that followed, I could feel beads of sweat dripping down my face. Finally, Fernstar mewed, "Thank you for discussing among you the possibilities! Now, I would like to take a vote. Move to the left side, whoever agrees with making Hawkkit an apprentice. Move to the right side, whoever disagrees."

In tension, I waited. I was more afraid than I had ever been in my short life. Immediately, a few went to both sides then they started moving in between sides. Then, the vote was over. They had all declared that they had made their final spot. Fernstar counted each cat on each side but I couldn't tell whether she was happy for me or sad for me.

The black she-cat took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and announced, "Hawkkit will be becoming an apprentice this afternoon with the other kits his age." I looked up in amazement at the ones on my side and I could see their smiles were genuine and their eyes filled with happiness.

I, myself was joyful and I skipped out of Fernstar's den to tell Ebonykit, Foxkit, and Sleetkit the good news. They were all happy on my behalf, but all I could see in the background was Ashfern slipping away, waves of disapproval practically rolling off of her.

"Hawkkit, you have reached the age of six moons and it is time for you to be apprenticed. From this day on, until you receive your warrior name, you will be known as Hawkpaw. Your mentor will be Rockscar. I hope Rockscar will pass on all he knows on to you." Fernstar's meow sent thrills through my body. I was becoming an apprentice at last and not in the Clan of hatred I had been raised as a kit in.

I glanced at my new mentor, a huge grey tom with a jagged scar that stretched from his muzzle to his leg. I recognized him as one of the senior warriors who had supported me in Fernstar's den. He smiled beckoningly and I hopped forward to touch noses with him.

Ebonypaw, Foxpaw, and Sleetpaw came over to join me with their mentors, squealing with excitement. "Littlefang says we can go on a tour of the territory," Ebonypaw mewed, her eyes sparkling as she jumped back and forth. "Does Rockscar say you can?"

I laughed. "Well, I haven't had time to talk to him yet," I said, giving my adopted sister a shove. But I looked up at him with pleading eyes and meowed, "Can I?" Rockscar smiled and replied, "Of course, we can." He exchanged glances with Pineleap and Fallowpuddle, Foxpaw and Sleetpaw's mentors. "If they approve of it, of course," he added, a bit of mischief in his voice.

"Well, you're the senior warrior, Rockscar," Littlefang said, her eyes alight. "So, I guess we'll have to go with you and follow your word." The other two warriors nodded nervously and even though they eventually replied, I could tell they didn't get the joke.

Rockscar straightened up. "Well, then, let's go," he meowed, taking the lead as the other mentors trailed behind. But I didn't go behind my mentor; I stayed right by his side. I was proud to be part of ShadowClan, a Clan where I could share their jokes and their amusement and best of all, I would never get teased.

**Enjoy and R&R!**


	6. Chapter 4

**A/N: Welcome back, my fabulous Gemskie fans! Have you had a lovely day today, cuz I have! MY DAYS ARE ALL GLORIOUS! I am super hype as I have just stirred like 50 packets of sugar into water and I drank it and it was so fab I don't even know what to say! Now, a response to y'all's reviews:**

**OwenStarr: Owen, my kitty homie, thanks for dropping a review by! You have no idea how soon things will turn bitter. All things must pass. *rubs hands evilly*TANK YOU FOR THE COOKIE! *hungrily devours cookie and grabs your tea* Thank you!**

**ENJOY THE STORY!**

As I began to train as an apprentice under the gentle, but tough care of Rockscar, things that had been good became better. I got along well with most of the other apprentices except for a brother and sister who despised ThunderClan for killing their older brother from a previous litter.

I tried to talk sense into them, telling them that I hated ThunderClan, too and I was part of ShadowClan, but they refused to listen to me. My other friends told me it was fine, that they were like that to everyone, but I knew there was a flaw to their words. They didn't talk to them as if they were patches of scum that needed to be rubbed away.

One morning, as I went on the dawn patrol with Rockscar, Foxpaw, and his mentor, Pineleap, I noticed an odd scent floating on the breeze. I swung my head around, deeply sniffing, trying to identify the smell. Suddenly, I stopped. It was coming right from a bush.

I crouched down and was about to leap when a small thick-necked brown creature darted out from the brush, its back scratched up with messy claws. It darted into another bush across the path before Rockscar caught it and quickly killed it. From just across the RiverClan border, a patrol of warriors was coming up, their eyes filled with fire.

_Uh oh, _I thought. _This can't be good. _The head of the patrol, a white tom stomped right up to the border, his tail bristling in fury. "Greetings, ShadowClan," he sneered. "I see you've decided to steal the prey right off of RiverClan's territory, haven't you?" Rockscar straightened, his green eyes calm and collected.

"Snowfoot," he meowed, looking the enemy warrior straight in the eye. "We have as much rights to this hare as you do. It came into our territory, so it is now ShadowClan's prey. We have no need to be whining about lack of prey." Snowfoot looked right back, never losing the flare in his gaze. "RiverClan is stronger than ShadowClan and you know it, Rockscar," he hissed. "Just because you think you're stronger, doesn't mean you are."

Rockscar's whiskers merely twitched. "Oh, so you're acting like a kit now," he remarked. "What a surprise. You've always acted like one, Snowfoot. You know why? Because you're a spoiled brat feeding off of your Clan's power. Now, get! Our Clan needs its peace."

The patrol began to move off, but only after Snowfoot spat over his shoulder, "We'll get you, ShadowClan! We'll get you and we'll crush you!" Our patrol, after a few moments, moved on in silence for the rest of the time. When we got back to camp, I suddenly began to recall what the arrogant RiverClan warrior had said at the border.

I knew I shouldn't have listened to my power-hungry side, but I thought, _If RiverClan has so much power, then why isn't ShadowClan trying to take out its own power on it and try to weaken it so they will stay the strongest and most powerful? _It puzzled me why I was so worried about power, but little did I know was that my ambition and hunger for power had awakened; it reimbursed a new need into me for an opposing Clan's spilled blood.

The next day, I began to battle train with Rockscar. We stood, crouched from opposite ends of the clearing, both of my eyes narrowed, staring into his green gaze. I was calculating a way to attack when he launched himself forward, strong paws thumping against the sandy ground. I was surprised and quickly scrambled to do something.

I met my mentor with outstretched claws, afraid that he would crush me. My thorny claws raked across his face and he let out a suppressed yowl of pain. "Claws sheathed, Hawkpaw!" he roared. I could see his eyes blazing from under a fray of grey fur. _Uh oh, _I thought. _I've gotten him mad. He thinks I've turned against ShadowClan and I'm ready to fight._

Driven by fear, I scrambled off into the forest, afraid of what he would do when he found me. _It won't take long for me to be exiled, _I thought, terrified. _They'll immediately assume I want to be sent back. AUGH! _I crashed right into an abandoned fox den.

But apparently, it wasn't abandoned. A fox with a swollen belly lay in the back of the den, a low growl rising in its throat. Thank goodness it didn't have kits or else it would've torn me apart. I quickly left and found myself face to face with Rockscar. He was scowling, but I didn't see any initial signs of hatred.

"Come, Hawkpaw," he growled. "I believe it's time for you to get home. You'll be cleaning the elders' den for the rest of the day."

**Review or drop a PM, beautiful peepz!**


	7. Chapter 5

**A/N: Yo, wassup, my peeps! Welcome back to Life of the Rejected: Hawkstar where we pride ourselves on rejected amazingness. A response to the reviews (YAYYYYY!)**

**iiDusk Spectre 7: Thank you for your fabulous optimism! *fistbump***

**Guest: Poor, poor Hawky…. You have no idea what's going to happen to him. Great, you're gonna love a certain character in our series. And it's not Hawkpaw.**

**Sunripple (Chapter 3): I'm glad you like him. I tried to make him as likable as possible for future purposes. *smiles psychotically***

**Sunripple: Because he's awkward, that's why.**

**On to the story!**

It was the night of the Gathering and the full moon hung low over the tall pine trees. I shuffled my paws in the clearing, trying to keep them warm in the chilly wind. Ebonypaw sidled up beside me, warmth in her eyes, and gave a friendly greeting.

We talked for a while until Fernstar climbed up on the High Branch and gathered up the rest of the Clan. "Tonight, we shall be going to the Gathering," Fernstar meowed. "I will bring with me Leafpelt, Tansystripe, Pineleap, Foxpaw, Littlefang, Ebonypaw, Rockscar, Hawkpaw, Coldwhisker, Narrowclaw, Dayspring, and Nettlepaw, as well as the elders who choose to come."

I was delighted to go to my first Gathering and I could tell that Ebonypaw was excited, too. "I can't wait to go," she squealed. "Can't you?" I nodded cheerfully, but my mind was suddenly clouded by a dark thought; what would ThunderClan think of its lost kit that had retreated to a Clan of deep shadows?

I suddenly felt guilt burning through my mind and I stared at my paws, not wanting to show my emotions to Ebonypaw. But apparently, she noticed my shaken feelings. "What's wrong, Hawkpaw?" she prompted gently. "If you don't want to tell me, it's okay," she added quickly.

I knew that I couldn't tell her that I felt guilty by joining her Clan which might come across as offending so I quickly muttered, "I'm fine." Then, I shifted toward Foxpaw and Sleetpaw and began to talk with them as we began the journey to the Gathering.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

As soon as we reached the small sloping clearing that resembled my home Clan's camp so much, I choked up. I couldn't believe that only two moons ago, I had dwelled among ThunderClan warriors. Rockscar touched his tail gently to my shoulder, but I shrugged it off.

I was a strong reborn being in a new Clan with a new life ahead of me. But I admitted in the farthest recesses of my mind that I hadn't at all changed from my kit self and had just the same destiny as I had had then.

Walking into the clearing, I picked up the scent of RiverClan, WindClan, and…ThunderClan. _Okay, Hawkpaw, _I told myself. _That just means ShadowClan is the last Clan at the Gathering, nothing else. _I took a deep breath and steadied myself before walking into a clearing.

Of course, the first cat I saw was Talonwhisker, the deputy of ThunderClan. Unfortunately, he saw me, too. "Hey, you there!" he called. I stepped forward slowly, feeling my legs tremble. "Um, yes," I meowed, my voice quiet and weak. I hoped with all my heart he didn't recognize me, but again, I got the worst luck.

"Aren't you….Hawkkit?" he asked, a confused gleam in his gaze. "Hawkpaw now," I grumbled darkly and immediately landed my eyes on the ground. When I looked up again, Talonwhisker was glaring at Fernstar, not me. "Those ShadowClan scoundrels," he growled. "Stealing our kits..."He then looked at me sternly. "We thought you were dead. You shouldn't have wandered off like that and now that you have, you've been accepted into a den of thieves. ThunderClan will get you back, Hawkpaw. _I _will get you back if it's the last thing I do."

I was confused by his passion for me then I remembered that Talonwhisker was my mother's brother and I was his nephew. Before he could say anymore, I quickly bounded into a group of passing RiverClan apprentices.

I spent the rest of the time in between that and the beginning of the Gathering talking with cats who wouldn't be so hostile to me. At first, I was alarmed when I heard the loud yowl from Foamstar, leader of RiverClan. "Let all cats gather under the Gathering Tree for a sacred truce so that we may share our lives with the Clans!"

I glanced up at the pure white tom with bright green eyes looking down proudly at his Clan. I noticed that he looked very well-fed and sleek, though that was probably because of his diet of fish. So did the rest of RiverClan, even the elders who almost always managed to look skinny and frail.

_I wonder why they're so plump, _I thought. At this time, cats were usually lean from hunting for so much prey to store up for leaf-bare, including myself. I turned my ears to listen to Foamstar's report.

"RiverClan is in good health and we have been finding plenty of fish in the lake," he meowed, his ears lazily flicking away a fly as he spoke. "Three new kits have been born into our Clan, Ivykit, Cloudkit, and Sandkit. I might add that some cats have not been sticking to their borders recently." He eyed Fernstar. "However, we are fine and strong enough to fight any cat who vainly tries to threaten us."

Fernstar dipped her head. "Thank you for your report, Foamstar," she mewed respectfully, but with a hard edge to her tone. "We have four fine new apprentices, Foxpaw, Ebonypaw, Sleetpaw, and Hawkpaw." A murmur went up among the Clans as they realized that in the moons before, my birth had not been announced in ShadowClan.

"We are doing well and finding prey in abundance throughout the forest. Darkwish has gone into the nursery expecting kits." I nodded slightly, remembering the smoky black queen that had been very friendly to me. I didn't know her well, but at least she liked me. "She does not wish to share the father with us. Our borders are well marked and we have had no trouble for the past moon."

It was true. The last border skirmish had been with Snowfoot and his patrol and that had been almost two moons ago. I spotted the white tom with a smirk on his face as he began to continuously poke what looked to be an annoyed friend of his until a senior warrior made him stop. He still had that ugly smile on his face, though.

"That is the end of my report," Fernstar said, dipping her head and stepping back for Goldenstar, the leader of WindClan to make her announcement. I really didn't listen to her report as WindClan was the only Clan not involved with ShadowClan.

Then Breezestar stepped forth. Her pale grey fur bristled in tension and I could see the fire in her eyes before she began to speak. "I directly accuse ShadowClan for stealing ThunderClan's kits," she almost yowled into the clearing. I could see her blue green eyes burning hatefully as they landed on me.

"You have stolen Hawkkit of ThunderClan who belongs to us, not you flea-bags who will probably teach him to disrespect us," she hissed. She paused, took a short breath, and stared at Fernstar. I could almost see her claws flexing in and out of their sheaths; she was ready to fight for an apprentice who could possibly become a fine warrior.

Fernstar stood up calmly and held Breezestar's angry gaze without flinching. "We have not stolen Hawk_paw_," she accentuated "paw", showing that she had authority to make me an apprentice of her Clan. "As I see it, you have cast him out of your Clan." Before Breezestar could speak, she flicked her tail over her wide open mouth. "He has told us the stories of how the other kits teased him in the nursery and how you have done nothing to stop their jeering.  
>"I have seen the scars that he carries from other kits' claws and I believe he would be in better care with us," she finished. Breezestar looked over ThunderClan, probably looking for the queens to demand if Fernstar was telling the truth. Her gaze landed on Maplewhisker, the villainous kits' mother. "Maplewhisker," she snapped. "You were a queen when Hawkkit was with us. Is Fernstar telling the truth?"<p>

For once, the arrogant pale ginger queen looked nervous and swallowed self-consciously, grooming down her ruffled fur. "Um," she stumbled, her eyes darting around all the four Clans' warriors who were staring curiously at her. After a few moments of looking around, her pride suddenly returned and she straightened, turning up her nose at the others around her. "No," she meowed firmly. "Fernstar is a thieving scoundrel who wants nothing but new warriors for her pathetic Clan." She said it just like she had rehearsed it.

To my surprise, a chorus of outrage rang out from almost all the ShadowClan warriors. "We've seen him!" "Hawkpaw is not a cat who would lie to me!" "I've seen how he looks at his adopted Clan. He loves us better than he'll ever love you!" Then, before I could be warmed by their triumphant response, I saw Ashfern sitting sullenly in a corner, rolling her eyes and daintily drawing a licked paw over her head.

_She still doesn't love me like her own, _I thought sadly. But my heart began to rise as Breezestar glared at Maplewhisker. "I see that your disrespectful queen has willfully lied to us," Fernstar said coolly, staring into the other leader's eyes.

Breezestar huffed in disapproval and turned away, her tail high in the air. "Gathering dismissed!" she yowled and began to promptly trot away with her warriors following. I stared after, hoping to see Sorrelpetal in the mix, but I couldn't see her tonight. My heart sank despite the aura of joy swirling around me from Fernstar's announcement.

"Hey, psst!" A sudden hiss from a bush behind me made me whirl around. There in the shadows were two young amber eyes. A she-cat was crouching in the barrier of bushes around the clearing. I didn't recognize her, so I guessed she must've been from another Clan. Then the scent hit me. She was ThunderClan.

"Look, if you're trying to tease me," I started, but was interrupted. "No, I'm not trying to tease you, mouse-brain!" she hissed, pulling my tail which had unknowingly started to flick around nervously. "That sounded like an insult to me," I grumbled crossly.

I looked into the big amber eyes of the she-cat and I began to recognize her small features. The slightly torn, larger than usual left ear with a small nick that only a thorn could make….the miniscule black stripe under her right eye...

"Petalkit!" I exclaimed. "What do you want me for?" The cream she-cat snorted. "That's Petalpaw to you," she replied sullenly. "Anyways, I kind of wanted to tell you something that I hadn't been allowed to tell you in ThunderClan. Well, I guess now that you're an apprentice in ShadowClan, it wouldn't be acceptable either. But I, uh…I…"

"Petalpaw!" A sharp cry rang through the air and I looked through the brush to see Icekit, now Icepaw wandering around the empty clearing. "Where are you? We're gonna be late, you know!"

Petalpaw gave a desperate look in my direction and I somehow saw longing there. But then it was gone and she pushed out of the bush toward Icepaw. I watched silently as she padded across the clearing. "What were you doing in there?" Icepaw asked coldly, her emerald eyes flickering with annoyance.

"Um, making my dirt," Petalpaw replied awkwardly. _Man, she's a terrible liar, _I thought, almost chuckling at the strange words. Icepaw narrowed her eyes almost suspiciously toward the bush, almost like she was looking for someone in the bush. She shrugged. "Didn't know you talked while you were making dirt," she said in a voice that almost hinted amusement.

"Oh, uh, yeah," Petalpaw replied. "I do that sometimes. Of course, that's not important." I could see the embarrassment that lit up her face as she glanced toward the brush. "Got anyone there with you?" Icepaw asked. I nearly laughed out loud at how humiliated Petalpaw was.

"No, no," she meowed quickly, turning toward the entrance of the clearing. "Let's go." The two she-cats padded toward with Petalpaw flashing a quick glance over her shoulder. The message in her gaze was clear, _Please tell me you didn't hear that. _

I shook my head even though she couldn't see and slipped back to join my Clan on their way back home. As I wondered about the events of the night, my thoughts kept returning to Petalpaw. She was so beautiful; I had been so busy being teased that I didn't notice her gentle, slim figure and her glimmering pale amber eyes that seemed to glow in the dark.

_I was teased by her, _another part of me thought, but I chased that part away. It took me a while to realize…..I loved Petalpaw.

**Ooh, romance! Read and review, peeps!**


	8. Chapter 6

**Welcome back, peepzies! Thanks for the reviews! I will respond to them here!**

**Thunderandshadowcats: I is glad you are loving this! My story is like McDonald's! BUH-DUH-BUH-BAH-BAH! NUUUU! I don't want it to be like their disgusting food products, hated by many and loved by many. Such a tragedy. *wipes away tear* I enjoy dictatorships in writing as well. I mean, not in the real world, but in writing they're cool. **

**On to the story!**

_SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH! _A loud, piercing scream cut the air, waking me from my deep sleep. It had been a few days since the Gathering and all I had thought about was Petalpaw, nobody else. I barely paid attention to my other friends and only wondered about how she was feeling at the moment or if she was hurt or not.

Foxpaw and Sleetpaw had constantly teased him about his distractedness, saying that someday or another, he'd come pleading to them for love advice. Sleetpaw wasn't as much as Foxpaw, though. Foxpaw was handsome, muscular, and constantly had she-cats giggling around him.

His fluffy ginger kit fuzz had grown into a darker russet sleek pelt that was always shiny and well groomed. He prided himself on constantly flexing his well-developed shoulder muscles. In all honesty, I was jealous of him. I was pretty sure he would become a warrior before Sleetpaw, Ebonypaw, and I because of his amazing hunting and fighting skills.

But now, Foxpaw shot up, frightened, his smooth pelt standing on end. His yellow eyes gleamed and he looked nothing more than a moon old kit which had just seen a warrior for the first time. I almost laughed at the sight of the noble tom so scared before I caught myself staring and forced my gaze to the ground.

I was always like that around him because I was scared he would hurt me if I even chuckled at one of his jokes. I looked around; I was trying to detect what had made the ungodly sound.

Then Foxpaw suddenly tackled me, pinning me to the ground with his paws. "What did you do to my Clan?" he snarled, obviously angry. My eyes widened in fear as I struggled to breathe with his paw pressing against my throat. I choked and managed to mumble out in a small voice, "I….didn't do…anything."

Foxpaw unsheathed his claws and began to slowly dig them into my throat. "WHAT DID YOU DO?" he exclaimed wildly. "Foxpaw!" A sharp voice alerted the ginger tom and I quickly scrambled out of his grip when it had loosened. I cowered in the corner.

A light brown silhouette stood at the entrance of the apprentices' den and I let out a sigh of relief; it was Pineleap, Foxpaw's mentor. She looked sternly at her apprentice and hissed in a scolding tone, "What do you think you were doing to Hawkpaw?" she asked, her gaze disapproving.

Foxpaw began to speak, but Pineleap stalked forward and flicked her tail over her mouth, drawing him forward where they began to speak in hushed voices. I could see that they were struggling with a conflict, but I couldn't make out the words.

Eventually, they turned around to the other apprentices and me, now wide-eyed and awake. "ShadowClan needs your bravery in helping them in your first battle," Pineleap meowed, looking out over the crowd. Only Ebonypaw seemed excited about that. I could see her paws trembling. "Will we get to fight?" she squeaked in an almost kit-like voice.

Pineleap shook her head. "We can't risk losing ShadowClan's only apprentices," she meowed, making Ebonypaw deflate a little. "But you may help the medicine cat with herbs and such. Hawkpaw," she fixed me with a gaze so cold that ice could not match it, "stay as far away from the battle as you can. They're looking for you only and they'll take you whenever they get even the slightest chance."

She turned away, her light brown tail swishing in agitation as she gazed out at the camp. I shuffled my paws and followed the other apprentices. I glanced at Foxpaw but he was staring straight ahead with a look of furious determination in his eyes. I grew nervous and looked down at the leaf-strewn ground.

I watched with longing as the three other apprentices exited the camp to go on to the battlefield. I wanted to be there, I wanted to see the cats who had protected me slay the ones who abused me. _Slay? _That was a strange thought in my head, but I quickly shook off my confusion. Yes, I wanted them to die for what they had done to me.

So, after a long period of bored waiting, I decided to sneak out. A wave of nostalgia came over me as I used the dirtplace tunnel to creep outside of the camp just as I had done in ThunderClan. Except then, I wasn't wanting to hear blood roaring in my ears and my enemies to drop dead.

Finally, I arrived. My stomach began to churn as I saw the horrendous sight and I almost regretted disobeying Pineleap. There were cats tossed on the grass all over the place, their throats slit and their eyes foggy and devoid of life. I remembered the warrior code: _A warrior does not have to kill to win his battles. _

But the warrior code had been forgotten here; this was a massacre of both ShadowClan and ThunderClan. All over the place, cats were killing, fighting for him. I could see Narrowclaw, a tom that I had never really liked, fighting a small brown-and-white tabby that I recognized as Mothshadow. Her stomach seemed to sag and I wondered if she had had kits recently.

Immediately, I knew that I never should've thought that she had a family because Narrowclaw sprang on top of the she-cat, almost completely twisting her neck and slamming her down to the ground. With a quick, sharp blow to the neck, Mothshadow was gone, blood pooling from her other wounds and her throat.

Narrowclaw smirked at his fallen enemy and ran off to find another cat to fight. I couldn't believe that he could be so ruthless. But I forced myself to look away from Mothshadow and inspect the damage ThunderClan had inflicted on ShadowClan.

Several cats were heavily bleeding, but I didn't see any too severe injuries. Some cats would need to stay in the medicine den for a week or so, but I was pretty sure they would survive. Then, my heart caught in my throat.

Rockscar was struggling across the battlefield toward my mother, who was looking around in a confused manner like she didn't know what to do in a battle. Then, she turned around and faced Rockscar. Her gaze turned bitterly cold and I knew they were going to get into an argument. I slunk around in the shadows until I was directly behind Sorrelpetal, but hidden from view.

"Rockscar," she hissed, her teeth gritted in anger. "The warrior who supposedly mentors my son." She huffed in disbelief. "You probably locked him up in a den on his own and you're his guard instead." I shook my head sadly. The Clans just didn't know how kind ShadowClan had been to me, especially Fernstar.

Rockscar calmly shook his head. "No, Sorrelpetal," he replied in a smooth, steady voice. "I've been training Hawkpaw and he is a very skilled cat. I must note that his strong point is in fighting." His mouth curved into a gentle smile and I could feel myself blushing as I remembered how I had run away from Rockscar when training into a fox's den.

Sorrelpetal seemed to relax a bit, but she still stood rigid, ready to fight when she needed to. "Does he hunt well?" she asked a bit scornfully, obviously testing my mentor. "Well, he-"Rockscar struggled to speak when Sorrelpetal flung herself at him. "How dare you speak negativity of my son!" she yowled and began to claw furiously at the grey tom's back.

He struggled and began to whip his head around to pick the tortoiseshell off of him when Sorrelpetal bit deep into his haunches, embedding her teeth in his muscles. He let out a shriek of agony and threw my mother off his back, sending her into a nearby tree.

But she quickly picked herself up and jumped at Rockscar again. I stiffened as I saw her claws shining in the dawn light. The sun was just about to rise and when its first golden ray burst out from the cover of trees, Sorrelpetal struck her outstretched claws into his throat and he sank down, his blood bubbling. But he wasn't quite dead yet.

As soon as Sorrelpetal was well out of sight, I darted out of the shadows and slowly tried to pick up the heavyset cat, but I was too small and too weakened by the sight of my mother's bloody claws sinking into my mentor's neck over and over again.

Pineleap approached out of the throng of cats that I hadn't noticed was beginning to break up and we shared a look of sorrow. Rockscar was Ashfern's mate which meant that Foxpaw, Ebonypaw, and Sleetpaw, his kits would not be happy. _Neither will the she-cat that cared for me, but never loved me, _I thought sullenly.

We heaved the tom up on Pineleap's back and we walked on in silence. As soon as we came to camp, Ashfern rushed forward and saw Rockscar. Her eyes blazed with mad fury as she saw her adopted kit carrying her mate's severely injured body. "What did you do to him?" she cried out in an almost insane wail. She began to caress his grey fur and carried him, all on her own to the medicine den.

I watched in regret at the grief-stricken ash grey she-cat. _Why did I escape here? _I wondered silently. _Why did I? ThunderClan is on a manhunt for me now and all I did to them was come here. I caused so many problems. Why? _I curled up in my nest and watched over the side of the nest as Ebonypaw, Foxpaw, and Sleetpaw all came in, all exhausted but obviously not in sadness. _They haven't heard the news yet, _I thought. _Good, they won't tease me…._

"Why did you kill our father?" Foxpaw asked harshly, his yellow eyes glowing in repressed anger. "I didn't-"I started to say, but Ebonypaw interrupted me. "Shut up, Foxpaw," she mumbled. "You know he didn't kill him; he just disobeyed Pineleap, that's all." I then could hear the gentle sounds of sleepy breathing from all of them.

I quietly stalked out of the den and looked up at the rising sun. I guessed that no warrior or apprentice would really do anything today since they were all so exhausted from the battle. But I wasn't tired; I was wide awake and ready to do anything.

Then, the cry rang out. The cry that made me want to wallow in misery.

Ashfern.

**Read and review! Next chapter will be short!**


	9. Chapter 7

**A/N: Welcome, little Gemskies! I have a fabulously short chapter for y'all (long chapter lovers: NUUUUUU!), but I think you'll enjoy it. A response to your review(s):**

**Guest: Sorry, but I don't really trust that you're Thunderandshadowcats. There are too many possibilities and I'm extremely paranoid. But if you are, um…sorry XD I'm paranoid plus I just realized that made me feel like the existential crisis was coming. So, I'm flippin' paranoid! Umm, read the previous chapters….Foxpaw was Ebonypaw and Sleetpaw's brother…? Yep, they're starting a massacre because they're petty like that, thinking that they're just going to lose another warrior, though they don't care for their warriors at all. Yep, Rockscar be dying…No, Ashfern isn't dying; Ashfern is Rockscar's mate and Foxpaw, Ebonypaw, and Sleetpaw are their kits. Thank you!  
>The Unromantic Libra (Chapter 5): Aren't memorable lines awesome? Glad you think a bit of my writing is memorable. I can't even remember half the stuff I've written and that would be 11 ½ stories. Pft, of course I used a calculator. Who wouldn't? That was a simple problem, Beo…..I'm sorry, internal voice!<strong>

**The Unromantic Libra: Haha, I'm not sorry for him at all since I created him and I have no mercy and now I'm going to drag him through the misery of having a certain someone taunt him. You'll figure out who it is in this chapter ;P Also, congratulations on the username! Let's just all clap for dat username! *clappies are heard around the world* Haha, but seriously, I'm happy that you feel his emotiob!**

**On to the short chapter!**

I rushed to the medicine cat den and peeked inside. Ashfern was sobbing over a slowly dying Rockscar. She was not only crazed, but grieved as well. _Oh, no, _I thought. _What have I done?_

Then, time seemed to stand still. Rockscar heaved in a slow, ragged breath, exhaling it and his spirit was gone, eyes glazed over. I gasped. My mentor…was gone. Ashfern began to let out a low, sorrowful yowl, releasing it into the early morning air. The medicine cat, Dayspring watched on in silence and grief. I remembered that the pale grey she-cat had been Rockscar's sister and Ashfern's sister-in-law. _Oh, no, _I thought, panicked. _I have two cats against me. _

Dayspring touched a comforting tail to Ashfern's shoulder. "Calm down, my sister," she said in a sweet, lulling voice. The dark grey she-cat looked up, her eyes desperate and wild. "You're not my sister!" she screeched, pulling away. "Now that Rockscar is dead, I have no one for family!"

"But, Ashfern, your kits-"Dayspring started then seemed to realize it was useless to try to talk sense into the grieving she-cat. She lifted her head sadly, squeezed tight her wet eyes, and pealed out a slow song of sadness. Her beautiful voice was making me sleepy and I almost drowsed off.

Apparently, Ashfern wanted to go to sleep, too. She stumbled forward and lay down at Dayspring's paws. "Yes, sleep, Ashfern," Dayspring whispered in the drowsy cat's ear. Finally, she sunk off into a calm doze.

She looked up, straight into my eyes. "Go, Hawkpaw," she said in an ancient sounding, harsh, raspy voice. "Great trouble awaits you later in this den." That sent chills through my body and I quickly ducked off to the apprentices' den.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Dayspring was right. Great trouble did await me in the afternoon. I walked into the medicine den fearing for my safety when Ashfern stalked out of a crevice where herbs were kept. I jumped and quickly hid in the shadow of a cleft in the wall.

Ashfern looked irritable and was lashing her tail, muttering gibberish under her breath. I wasn't quite sure if she was sane or not. Suddenly, she turned on me; seeing my tabby pelt in the shadows, she threw herself at me.

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY MATE?" she screeched wildly. "YOU SHOULD DIE FOR YOUR CRIMES!" I, confused backed up and tried to explain, "Ashfern, I didn't-"The dark grey she-cat gave a wordless snarl and lashed out at me with unsheathed claws, not hitting anything but looking very threatening. "Shut up, you little fool," she growled in a quieter tone. "Or I'll make you go silent." She held her claws up to my throat. "Understood?"

I gulped and nodded, too afraid to speak. The tension in Ashfern's shoulders relaxed and she padded off calmly as if nothing had happened that was of relevance. But for me, it was very relevant. I had just made a new enemy, an enemy that refused to hear a word I said, an enemy that had once cared for me and her kits but refused to love or care for me now.

I collapsed in a crying heap, too tired to go back to my nest. I lay there, tears drying into salty crystals on my fur. The cold mid-leafbare wind brushed through the medicine den and I shivered. That was just enough for me to curl up and wonder if I should have ever been born.

_No, _a voice spoke in my head. _You were needed to be born. You're powerful, Hawkpaw and you can achieve great power in your life if you do the right things. It doesn't matter that those kits teased you when you were young. You're a new cat now and you can care for yourself and your matters. _That comforted me a bit, but I silently questioned the voice, doubt filling my mind.

_Oh and if you think I'm wrong, _the voice said in a sarcastic, disgusted tone. _You shouldn't think so. I'm never wrong. I should know being the winner of every debate in Clan history. _I didn't mind that I didn't know this cat's place in history or even their name, but I trusted them in a way that I trusted Ebonypaw. _And Petalpaw, _the voice added, as if listening to my thoughts. _I know you love Petalpaw and what you do in my instructions will only cause her to be further attracted to you. No price except for your loyalty to me. Do we have a deal?_

I didn't think a bit. "We have a deal," I muttered out loud and sank into a calm, dreamless sleep despite the trauma I had faced before. That night, I accepted revenge.

It wreaked havoc on my mind.

**A/N: Hope you guys enjoyed the chapter! Review on how weird Ashfern is! Probably should feel sorry for the poor she-cat for losing her mate and believing there's nobody left for her (her kits are virtually ignored). But I have no mercy in my soul, not one bit. *smiles* On a challenge, there were two choices: To make someone sacrifice themselves for another or run away from that another and sacrifice them. I made them both die. Yay for no mercy! *runs around insanely* Hope you enjoyed it!**


	10. Chapter 8

**A/N: Welcome, brothers to the fabness of LotRHS! I will be answering the reviews next chapter since this one is so little, but significant. Welllllllll…Whatcha' waiting for? Can't you read it? Heh, let's go on to the chapter….**

I sat on the crest of the hill, the huge rocks that were scattered around me awash in sunlight, pearly white and blinding. I sighed. I had come out for a dawn patrol and had wandered away for a bit just to be alone for once. Icepaw was so annoying. She just couldn't keep her rude thoughts to herself at all and it really irked me.

Especially since Hawkpaw was still on my mind….Ah, just his fur, his funky personality, his humor. I just wanted him to be mine, all mine! "Petalpaw, get over here!" I sighed. Guess it was back to a boring, normal day again, pretending to abide rules as usual but really seeking the heart of a tom that was not only of another Clan, but had betrayed his own Clan's trust. Such a treasonous fellow….

But maybe, just maybe, that was why I liked him. Maybe, I liked treason. Maybe, I wanted to be daring and a law-breaker, a heart-breaker like him….Just maybe.. "_PETALPAW!" _There came the yells, louder than ever. Icepaw was going to seriously hurt me if I tried to ignore her any longer! Ah, if only I could escape to Hawkpaw and just…

Oh, no, here came Icepaw, looking vehemently angry, muttering curses under her breath. "Stop dreaming and come join us, Petalpaw!" she growled, her voice cracking every few syllables with rage. I sighed dreamily and came to join the dawn patrol, unaware of what I was doing….Ah, sweet, forbidden fruit….


	11. Chapter 9

**A/N: Hello there, my beautiful Gemskies! I'm sure y'all are dying to hear the next chapter after two months of prolonged waiting, almost three now. I almost put this story on eternal hiatus but my friend, Owen-chann gave me motivation plus I was worried about disinteresting you guys. (Tigerstripe: Pfft, nope, we're not excited! We're not even excited for your friend!) Shut up, Tigehstrip! (Tigerstripe: FOR THE LAST FLIPPIN' TIME, I DO NOT STRIP! WHY-*muffled sounds of protest*) Um, Tigeh, that was really unwanted. *lifts hand off of Tigerstripe's mouth*You okay now? (Tigerstripe: *sullenly nods*) Yeah, I have conversations with imaginary characters, son! WHATCHA' GON' DO ABOUT IT?! Yay for all caps! Yayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayaeyayayayayayay! Hehe, you can probably find the "e" in it…. Anyways, response to your reviews!  
>The Unromantic Libra: Of course, she has dementia! I like the word dementia, too. It's kind of sad since it's a really serious condition, but I really like the word. Has a nice tone to it. Maybe, we should replace the word "insane" or "demented" with "Ashfern"! YOU'VE GONE ASHFERN! I'm gonna yell that at my friends when they say something weird on the first day of school (which has already passed, it's nearly December meh) and they're going to be staring at me and I be like, "FIRST IMPRESSIONS FOR FIRST DAY, RIGHT? XD" Ahhh, I'm crazy.<strong>

**Thunderandshadowcats: I won't sleep under anything except lamps, fans, and ceilings. Things that are over me make me flip out! If there's a table in the way of my line of vision over me and you're in the same room, expect me to be muttering gibberish and Swedish curses every five seconds as I get scared by nothing. I'm not superstitious; I'm just paranoid. Wait, those words are very, very similar….Hmm…..Okay then. YAY FOR SHORT CHAPTERS! *party in the house* AYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!**

**OwenStarr: Ayy, The Kooks, am I right? Thanks, Owen-channnn!**

**ON TO THE CHAPTER!**

Over the next moon, Ashfern's condition grew worse and worse until she was kept in the medicine den as she would try to lunge out at anyone that happened to pass by. Dayspring kept her patients in a separate section so they would remain safe. She only went back there to pass on prey.

My friends rarely visited their mother and I didn't blame them. Sleetpaw's coat was only a slightly lighter shade of grey than Rockscar's pelt and the time they had tried to visit her, she had flung herself at him, wailing about how much she missed him. Truly, Sleetpaw was not missed; in fact, he was apparently dead to her as Dayspring had told me about how she cried out at night about her lost, dying kits.

One day, I was selected by Fernstar to bring her some prey and a bundle of soaked moss. The black she-cat looked like her thoughts were wandering as she said, "Maybe you can bring her to her senses." Then I was sent off to catch the prey.

I told my new mentor, the foul-mouthed Pineclaw that I was getting food for Ashfern. He just nodded grumpily and continued on in his conversation with his mate, Fallowpuddle. I sighed in irritation. I didn't much like the sleek-furred tabby tom; he wasn't very amiable and rarely said anything to me unless he was teaching a lesson.

A flash of bitter hatred made my chest warm and make me long again for Rockscar, my one true friend but I forced it down. I had bigger problems to fix: going to see Ashfern. How was I supposed to "bring her to her senses"? The she-cat was insane! It would be impossible. I could only hope that I would get out of that den alive.

I brushed through the camp entrance and set out toward the denser section of forest. As I walked, I could detect the extremely faint scent of brittle greenery and twigs under the snow. It was now the heart of leafbare and it was hard to find any prey at all. But I knew I had to snag something for Ashfern to eat.

Once I reached the deep woods, I luckily found the scent of rabbit quickly. As I drifted toward it, I realized that I had been downwind with my scent blowing towards the rabbit's sensitive nose. The rabbit didn't seem to notice, however and I changed direction, sliding in to a pinpointed location.

What I saw puzzled me. The dead, sliced open carcass of a rabbit sat temptingly in the middle of a clearing. As far as I knew, the hunting patrol this morning had been sent in the other direction. It was very peculiar to find a steaming, fresh rabbit in the middle of nowhere but I guessed that some cat had wandered through here, maybe a loner and had caught a bit of prey for themselves.

But, to make things more confusing, the rabbit was uneaten; no chunk of flesh nibbled on or anything, only the smell of fresh meat clouding the air. I carefully stepped into the clearing, glancing around and sniffing the breeze blowing through the branches of the trees above, making the stark, bare boughs rattle.

I could smell nothing, however over the scent of rabbit and frost, creating a mixed whiff of warmth and cold. As soon as I stepped out of the bushes, I heard a rustle and spun around, claws extended, ready to fight. But there was no one there, no one but me in the freezing, wintry forest.

I shrugged like the fool I was and proceeded to pick up the rabbit and march back to camp. In my defense back then, I shall say that it was an easy meal, especially in leafbare but I never should have been so gullible as to dismiss a simple rustle for nothing.

All of a sudden, the rustles grew louder and I turned around, ready to investigate further when a dark grey blur of fur sprang out from the undergrowth. "AHH!" I yelled, being squished by the unknown cat. "Hello, Hawkpaw," an unsteady, shuddering, slightly high-pitched female voice spoke from above me.

My blood turned cold with dread. It was Ashfern. She had escaped. "Get off of me," I mumbled, out of breath from the she-cat's weight though she was not much heavier than me after her long period of grieving. "No, little Hawk," she hissed, flexing her claws in and out of my back fur. "I'll never get off of you until you're dead! Dead!" She gave a wordless snarl and swiped at me with claws unsheathed.

I winced as the claws tore through my skin and shuddered as the small beads of blood dripped down my spine. Eventually, I stopped struggling, knowing that she would keep on raking through my fur over and over until she punctured my bones, my heart. There was nothing to stop her from destroying my short life.

Ashfern loosened her grip triumphantly and snickered. "Foolish kit!" she snarled. "You'll never get anywhere with your weak ThunderClan blood!" Suddenly, a thought flashed across my mind. _ThunderClan blood…._ Surely, I remembered some of the old fighting techniques to be used in dense undergrowth? There was only one way to test this theory: to fight.

I sprang up and batted away the much bigger she-cat. Taken aback by my new better techniques than just flailing around, she was in shock for a few moments, lengthened by her newly diagnosed insanity. Then she got back in the game. We both attacked each other, fur flying, blood spraying into the sunset like little shining crimson gems, claws flashing like bright polished battle-swords. All the while, we were getting dangerously close to camp.

It took me a second to realize how close we were to camp until I noticed the change in scenery and the landmarks that showed that we were nearing home. I smiled and tore off through the woods. "Come back here, you weak, foolish kit! Come back and fight like a tom!" the deranged cat screamed to the wind. And in that moment, I hesitated. Hesitation leads to questions. Questions lead to death. And as I stopped, Ashfern crept up behind me and I spun around, rocketing a screaming mentally ill she-cat straight into camp.

My weakness, my pride for seeking a fight was strength in this case, after all. I threw her through the barrier and once she had gotten to her last wits, she began to scream threats and taunts of murder at me as I walked into camp. The next few days were a blur. All I knew was that Ashfern had been exiled for sake of her threadbare senses and insanity and I was probably never going to see her again. Probably.


	12. Chapter 10

**A/N: Welcome back, kids to LotRHS! No reviews on last chapter but dat's okay, more room for me to write!  
>On with le story!<strong>

_Oomph! _I let out a grunt of displeasure as I landed hard on my tail end. But my pained bottom was quickly soothed by lush and soft dew-covered grass under me. I was in a meadow, a misty, star-speckled meadow. Wispy spirits floated alongside me. I was shocked and in wonder. What was this place?  
>All of a sudden, I recognized a spirit gliding straight in my direction: Rockscar. My old mentor was smiling, though the long, white scar that ran along the front of his body looked as if it was fresh, gurgling new blood. I gasped. "What happened, Rockscar?" I asked. He smiled again. "StarClan makes you forever young so they renewed the scar." I must've looked horrified because he quickly added, "It doesn't hurt, though. It's just…there."<p>

I was reassured by this. "Why did you come to see me?" I asked, curious as to why my mentor had appeared. "I just wanted to tell you how proud I was of your accomplishments," he said warmly, grinning when he saw my start of surprise. "You've been so….enduring of your losses and I award you for that. I just…" His voice faltered and I cocked my head to one side. "What is it, Rockscar?" I asked, concerned.

He stiffened. "Hawkpaw, wake up," he said urgently. "Wake up now." But it was too late; we were both plunged into whirling darkness. Wind roared in my ears and they had just started to ache when it died down and stopped. I looked around. I could see nothing, feel nothing, nothing but my own breath on my whiskers.

"AHH!" A blazing explosion of light and color erupted before my eyes. When the burning black spots in my vision had disappeared, I opened my eyes and saw before me my own face, but different. I was bewildered. This face looked older, like a senior warrior version of myself. And then, to top off the mystery, square in the middle of my aged forehead was an emblazoned star, black as dying ashes. A warped purr of amusement rumbled to my ears. It was Rockscar. "It seems like you're a natural born leader, Hawkpaw," he meowed happily.

A couple of seconds passed by as I basked in that praise and gratitude when suddenly, a loud sound like a cannon-shot rang through the air. I jumped, suspended in the blackness. Three foreboding claw-marks, all red as a fresh wound had slashed across my face. The attitude of the surroundings dropped from happy to a fearful, stormy boiling point filled with tension. "Hawkpaw, whatever you do, try to avoid getting an apprentice or becoming deputy or leader," Rockscar yowled as the vision began to fade around me. "Don't try _anything_!" His thunderous roar of a meow was the last thing I heard as I woke up.

"Wake up, damn it," a harsh, raspy voice washed over me. The overwhelming stench of a greasy, dirty cat flowed onto my face. I coughed and opened my eyes abruptly. Pineclaw stood glowering over me, his eyes burning in contempt. "Language, Pineclaw," a light voice said from nearby. It was Fallowpuddle, his mate who took nearly everything he said as merely a joke even if he was being serious. I recall one incident where Pineclaw was so mad at me for getting a fighting technique wrong that he threatened he would kill me if I did it wrong again.

When I expressed my concerns to Fallowpuddle, who was also Sleetpaw's mentor, she laughed and said, "Oh, my silly Pineclaw. What would we ever do without his humor?" then immediately dismissed me. I still feel like that she-cat should've paid under my claws with my rule, but she died from whitecough before I could kill her.

Anyways, as I got up from my nest, the dream slowly began to fade from my mind to be replaced with excitement and anxiety over my warrior assessment this morning. I had been preparing for this my entire apprenticeship but it didn't matter. I was still nervous.

Pineclaw roughly pushed me alongside Foxpaw, Sleetpaw, and Ebonypaw. We all looked up at him with expectant young faces. He chuckled roughly. "Welcome, you four 'prentices," he began, clearing his throat. "Your assignment, ahem, assessment is to catch three pieces of prey. If we catch you man-handling another apprentice in your search for prey, your warrior days are over. If we catch you handing off pre-caught prey to another, both of y'all's warrior days are over. So, essentially, no cheating or rough-housing, you hear me?" We all nodded. "Alright, now go and catch the elders some nice meat to chew on."

Almost all of us tripped over each other in our haste to get out into the territory. Foxpaw, bigger, sleeker, and more muscular than ever was the first to escape the camp, Sleetpaw and I right behind him. Ebonypaw was last, taking her sweet time. After that, we separated, all in the search for three precious pieces of prey.

It was quite easy for me, I must admit, nerve-wracking, but easy. I found a twin pair of squirrels at the foot of a big maple, chattering to each other excitedly with their paws wrapped around two huge chestnuts. They must've been boasting to each other about their catches, I thought with amusement then I got into position and took both of them out, breaking their necks cleanly as I landed on the ground. Proud of my catch, I triumphantly picked up the two squirrels by their tails and dug a hole to stash them in.

Around sunhigh, I had thought I found my last and final catch, a weak, trembling blackbird. It looked like it had just been forced into an icy stream because every time it opened its beak to let out one of its raucous calls, it choked and only let out a weak, watery squawking sound. I knew it wouldn't please the elders or Pineclaw, but it was the best I had found in . Suddenly, I noticed a short, lean shape in the shadows around the clearing. The thing looked like it was investigating the blackbird, too. It took me only a second to realize what it was because it burst out from the undergrowth and overtook the blackbird.

A ball of wet, ginger fur was rolling around furiously on the ground: a half-grown fox. In a flash of calculation, I knew exactly what I had to do to impress Pineclaw. I tensed and sprang out from the undergrowth, taking both the still alive blackbird and the fox by surprise. It took the large, fuzzy animal only a few heartbeats to know what and who I was, though. The wet fox snarled and flattened its ears, stepping away from the blackbird that was now long forgotten and waited for my next move.

I took a threatening stance and hissed wordlessly at the fox. When it didn't back off, I pounced. I felt jaws and claws tearing at my fur but I didn't care; I had to get this fox dead. After a long while of wrestling and ripping fur, I ended my rival with quick thinking. I flicked my raised paw over to the fox's head while it stood ready to attack and tore into its windpipe. I sprang on it as it fell and roughly broke its neck. I was just in time to see the last light flicker from its black eyes.

I raised my head triumphantly and turned up my nose at my dead opponent. I was the victor; I bathed in my moment of glory. Then, I realized: I had killed this fox for no good reason. I had killed this fox with no ambition except to kill it. No reason, no know-how. Just pure killing instinct. I liked this feeling of glory and this cold-blooded killing. Then I thought of how much better it would feel if I tried it out on someone of my own kind, a cat like me. So, as I dragged the fox back to the spot where I had cached the squirrels, I would have to try it out on someone, anyone.

I dug up the squirrels and dragged all three bloody animals to camp to the surprised faces of Pineclaw and Foxpaw who had already returned with his catch. Apparently, Dayspring noticed my arrival, too; she rushed toward me with concern in her gaze and meowed, "You're bleeding, Hawkpaw! What happened?" I looked at her with coldness in my eyes; I had completely forgotten that I was injured in the tussle with the fox. Then the warmth returned. "Oh, I just killed a fox," I remarked jauntily, looking straight at Foxpaw as I spoke.

Slowly, more and more cats started to gather around me as Dayspring tended to my wounds and I began to repeat the story, adding a few things, subtracting a few elements. Word spread like wildfire around camp and cats began repeating the story to other cats until everyone, _everyone _knew that I was the ShadowClan apprentice who had brawled with and killed a fox and two squirrels on his warrior assessment.

It was late evening when Dayspring had finally patched up every single one of the fox's wounds and it was nearly time for the ceremony. She let me out on one condition: I would not unbandage my wounds and show them to other cats as prizes of my fight with the fox. I promised I wouldn't do that (I mean, who would be so stupid as to do that?) and went outside to wait with Foxpaw, Sleetpaw, and Ebonypaw. They all smiled at me except for Foxpaw and began to question me about my one-on-one fight. All the russet tom did was roll his eyes and snort every time I did a good battle move in my story.

"All cats gather beneath High Cove for a Clan meeting!" Fernstar's voice carried out over the clearing. No cats seemed to come out of their dens except for the few queens and elders that had not come out to hear my epic brawl with the fox. "Today, we gather to celebrate an important day in every Clan cat's life. Ebonypaw, please step forward." Ebonypaw stepped forward, looking about ready to fly off the sandy camp ground into the sky with excitement. "I, Fernstar, leader of ShadowClan, call upon my warrior ancestors to look down on this apprentice. She has trained hard to understand the ways of your noble code, and I commend her to you as a warrior in her turn."

"Ebonypaw, do you promise to uphold the warrior code and to protect and defend your Clan, even at the cost of your life?" Ebonypaw grinned as she replied, "I do." "Then by the powers of StarClan, I give you your warrior name. Ebonypaw, from this moment on you shall be known as Ebonytip! StarClan honors your cheerfulness and gratitude, and we welcome you as a full warrior of ShadowClan." "Ebonytip! Ebonytip! Ebonytip!" The Clan went wild for the newly named Ebonytip and Hawkpaw smiled as she watched the now uncharacteristically shy she-cat blush and duck her head in embarrassment.

The same ceremony happened for Hawkpaw's friends. Foxpaw was named Foxswift and Sleetpaw was named Sleetstone. When finally, my turn arrived, Fernstar's words went by in a blur and I was barely thinking enough to reply a slightly unsteady, dazed, "Yes" when she gave him the sacred code to follow. And then, cheers came all around him. "Hawkshade! Hawkshade! Hawkshade! Hawkshade!" Yes, Hawkshade, I liked that name. I liked it very much. The crowd gathered me up and told me congratulations and told me that they couldn't believe that one of my virtues had been strength and that they had never believed that I had so much fighting skill before.

The only thing to define the evening was a sudden bellow of, "STOP, EVERYONE!" and everyone stopped rushing me and the newly named warriors alongside me. "You are crowding one of the most important warriors in history," Dayspring meowed, shoving other cats aside as she hurried up to me, breathless. "StarClan gave me a vision last night. They told me that a hawk was to be a leader in my Clan and I knew it could only be one cat. And he has already proven his virtue, anyways. I decree this tom deputy, second-command to Fernstar!" Several yowls of either outrage or joy rang out through the camp.

"He hasn't mentored anyone yet!" "Oh, I'm so happy for you, Hawkshade!" "This would've never happened in the olden days." But I was just beginning to accept my fate. Not even a trace of the dream I had had that very morning occurred to me. I was to be a deputy, a prince, the only one higher than me was the queen, Fernstar. But I..I was going to be leader. I had dreams. I had high hopes. I had high dreams. I was to be a deputy, second to Fernstar.

Nobody would overtake me, nobody. And I had a certain way I had just acquired in my fox killing incident, in which I was going to secure that fate.


	13. Chapter 11

**A/N: Welcome back, children to LotRHS! Let us answer le reviews!**

**Cloudjumper Kat: Don't we all wish life worked for us? Alas, lateness, college, full diplomas, jobs, raising kids! Life can't be all peaches and cream but I'm here to make that a reality. I mean, as much peaches and cream as I can find….. Hawkshade's life definitely isn't all potatoes and cream more like spinach and radishes. But, oh well. Thank ya for loving le story, my friend! Hope to see you again! Yeah, probably, Rockscar's a nice guy, not in for revenge or power and all that dictator crap. He takes it easy peasy lemon-squeezy.**

**The Unromantic Libra: Oh, sorry. Foxies are among one of my favorite animals, too but I had to make him seem like some romantic hero, the hero that drove away a vicious fox to its solemn fate and sealed its fate by killing it. I can only be sorry for the fox and the blackbird, bringing Hawkshade to rebel against goodness. **

**Ooh, life's gon' get all rough and murder in here! No spoilers intended; P By the way, I'm going to be writing dreams in italics from now on. It just gets confusing when day-to-day life gets mixed in with dreams xD**

_"__Little Hawk…." "Little Hawk….." Enchanted, mystified, I entered the cavern where I had heard my name being called. "What?" I called out into the darkness. "Come in here to see your maa-ma," a light, cheery voice giggled after shouting out from the deep recesses of the cavern._

_I felt air-headed, light on my paws as I wiggled down through a complex cave system just to see my mama. "Mama, where are you?" I asked the shadows when I thought I had just reached where she was. "I'm over here, Hawkie!" Mama called from deeper within the cavern. "Okay, Mama, I'm coming," I said mindlessly, feeling the urge to pull myself even deeper into the caves. And then, just barely, I could hear a low hiss filled with lust and strong desire, "You better come. Mama wants to have a taste of you, you big juicy hunk."_

_I jolted back. "Mama, is that really you?" I asked, my voice quavering with fear. "Of course, it is, sweetie," the not-so-sure-it's-Mama reassured me. I let out a big sigh of relief. "That's good, Mama," I said. Then I began delving deeper into the caverns. Finally, I reached a big river and I saw a cat waiting in the shadows. But it wasn't Mama. No, it was…..Valeflight?_

_I awoke from my dream with a start. I lay in a stone cove hidden from the rest of the world with a sheet of ivy; Valeflight snuggled close to my chest, soundly sleeping. I smiled. I was back in my own reality. Thank goodness, this wasn't another dream. "Or is it?" I groaned as I heard the voice of my former mentor, Rockscar. "I see that you've made yourself quite close to another," he said, fixing me with an almost disappointed, disapproving look. "I thought that pretty ThunderClan she-cat was the one you were after." My cheeks suddenly began to burn more than they should have. _

_ "__NO!" I spluttered out loudly, embarrassed. I stared at the ground for a few seconds before recovering. "Why are you even so interested in my love life?" Rockscar shrugged and sat down next to me. "Just want to know why you're taking a break from being a normal tom that falls in love with a beauty that has a wondrous personality and becoming a muscular tom that all she-cats moon over just because you're a flirty pretty boy." I shrugged my shoulders moodily and glared off into the distance._

_ "__When you put it that way, it sounds terrible," I grumbled. But I knew, deep inside, it was true. I was not meant to be a playboy, as much as I loved the attention, the great intimacy, my beautiful body with beautiful she-cats, I didn't want to be this way. "Still remember your dream, pretty boy?" Rockscar grunted. I rolled my eyes. I knew he would call me a pretty boy for a long time before he forgot. "What dream, Rockscar?" I asked. "The last one where you tried to advise me to stay away from this kind of life?" He shook his head and stared at me for a while. "Nope, the one where I advised you not to…." He gestured at Valeflight still sound asleep. "Get all this attention," he finished his sentence shortly afterward._

_Confusion filled my thoughts. I had no idea what he was talking about. "Um, Rockscar, I just said that," I said in a deadpan voice. "No, boy, the one where I asked you not to become deputy," Rockscar thundered. At this loud noise, I saw Valeflight stir. Then it came crashing down on me. I remembered that dream, the one before my warrior assessment. I shrugged. "Oh, well, can't prevent it now," I said carelessly and flopped down next to Valeflight. "Now, give a tom some privacy with his chick," I told Rockscar, passing him off as a mere living cat._

_I could hear him get up, his tail dragging on the ground. "You'll regret that day when you became deputy," he growled under his breath. "You will…."_

Then I sat up once again from my nest. Valeflight was beside me, no Rockscar in sight. I peered cautiously out of the cove, making sure that no spirits were there to interrogate me about stupid dreams. I sighed. Back to my duties as deputy. I looked at Valeflight still sleeping. "Goddamn, she's a heavy sleeper," I mumbled.

"What did ya say about my sister?" I spun around, surprised. A ginger-and-grey kit stood on an ivy-covered stump at the edge of the clearing. "Sorry, it's a habit picked up from my mentor," I explained a bit sheepishly to Flashkit. She tipped her head to one side. She looked strangely suspicious. "You must've had a terrible mentor!" she chirped and ran off. "Yeah, that same tom is your father," I mumbled. The slimy tom had cheated with many she-cats before becoming mates with Fallowpuddle, Flashkit's mother.

I looked one last time back at the cove and continued on through the woods. It was a pleasant morning, birds chirping and the trees smelling fresh from the recent snowmelt. New life was breaking through leaf-bare and there was nothing to stop it. I sighed and suddenly felt all the freshness of the morning wash away from me all at once. Why was I being so stupid? I needed to kill. That was what had been bugging me for the last few moons, those dumb moons of fame. I spat at the ground. I didn't need fame. Nobody needed it. I needed revenge; I needed feared glory, not some pretty she-cats wishing to take over my body.

And that, my young travelers, is the beginning of the story you came for. No more drama crap, no more prophecy crap, no more elongated explanation. Nitty gritty murder is what you came for and that's what you're going to get. My first murder was simple: Valeflight. Ditzy she-cat that had the tendency to stumble over toms' paws. I waited for her to finish washing up in the cove and when she got out, _thunk_. Dead. I stood, glowering over her slit throat and her glazed fearful blue eyes and I smiled cruelly. I had created a new living for myself.

Not all of it was fun and games, as you would expect. Sometimes, the murders were hard. I had to put myself in the right place at the right time and sometimes, they knew. Such as Sleetstone. He entrusted himself to me as a valuable spy of the Clan so I could perform my killings then he betrayed me by telling his stupid mate, Lostclaw. Gossip ran wild and I had been caught but so had Sleetstone. I attempted to kill him while he was using the dirtplace. Stupid tom ran away into the night and he was never seen again. As they say, you can run but you can't hide, though. I killed him three days later in the cove, relishing the feel of my claws pin-pricking his treacherous throat, his salty, hot blood falling and steaming onto my long claws in the chilly dawn air. But no one could exile me as deputy. Yet.

As soon as I took Fernstar's three remaining lives, I would be free to become leader of ShadowClan, ready to release hell. The night of her murder, I snuck up to her den entrance, looking down upon ShadowClan, encased in velvety black. I remembered being at that very spot so many moons ago, afraid that I wouldn't be accepted. _But now, _I thought grimly. _Everyone will have to accept me. Or they'll pay the fee for not listening to my words. _I felt adrenaline rush through me and all at once, I burst into the leader's den and tore at her throat, silencing her yowls within two heart-beats. It took no time at all to finish her.

When I backed away from her bloodied, uprooted body, I still saw the beautiful, gentle face of the leader who had accepted me into her Clan. For a moment, I felt a speck of remorse. Should I have done this? Should I have craved power this much? _No, _I thought, feeling rage light up in every one of my features and I dug my claws into Fernstar's chest, causing blood to spray out onto my face. I licked it off slowly. It tasted sweet just like the old storybooks say "Revenge is sweet". _She's paying the fee for not listening. No one will think of me as an undersized, trespassing kit again!_

And with that, the speck of remorse died and with it came the great and glorious feeling of power. I stepped out of the den as the sun rose, letting every cat see the quickly drying blood mottled all over my body and paws. Some gasped in horror, some simply shook their heads (they would be the first ones to die, I think they knew this), and others simply stared, aghast as I dragged Fernstar's body out of her den and threw it onto the pine needle-littered ground of the ShadowClan's camp. It made a hard thump as it landed and once again, I was reminded of another saying, _The bigger they are, the harder they fall. _

This saying, unlike the others, I thought would be the only one to be wrong. How terribly misguided I was.


End file.
